As I have said in an earlier post, I am a word person. I try to take certain phrases and implement them into my life as they are written or said. An example is one that I heard many years ago, ”Take what you need and leave the rest.” That one was recited to me by a dear friend who was trying to help me through a pretty tough emotional period of my life. She herself had heard it at a self help group one night and kept using it throughout her life. When I heard those words for the very first time, they clicked right away. I knew that this phrase would stay with me all the rest of my life.
Taken literally, it frees a person to be less vulnerable to getting their feelings hurt when those who speak before thinking, or even worse don’t seem to have any filters when speaking their thoughts, attempt to offer advice.
With this example another one comes to mind that has been with me since I was a child, “You can catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar.” These words were taught to me by one of my uncles. This gentle man was trying to teach me to be nice to others. When he said the phrase, I laughed and asked him why would I want to catch flies? I think I was about 7 or 8 years old. He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. Many years later, I understood what that shrug was for. He knew that I was either not old enough or just plain not willing to be taught. So he waited until the day which wasn’t long after when my feelings were hurt by someone I may have been rude or obnoxious to. He brought up the phrase again and I guess I must have looked pretty confused while still crying because he followed it with this explanation, “The phrase I just told you really has nothing to do with flies. It is more about the honey and the vinegar. You have to think of things like your words, or your actions towards others, and decide if you want them to sound or look like honey (that means be nice), or do you want them to come out like vinegar? Being mean or sarcastically putting someone down could be interpreted as the vinegar.” He took a tissue out and was gently wiping my tearstained face as he continued telling me that it really was my choice and that I should think about that before speaking or acting out.
Jumping forward to my years of customer service, I actually started to say the phrase concerning honey and vinegar quite often to fellow workers who had no clue how to treat the customers. One day, not very long ago, I had taken a job at a big box store. It was the first time I ever worked for a corporation that big. I found taking care of the customers was no different here than anywhere else and basically “moved into” my position as an associate of the Electronics department with no issues. What I did not know, at least not right away, was how impressed with my service just about every single customer that I approached felt.
It was about 3 weeks into my employment there when I was walking up the main isle in Electronics, about 10 minutes before quitting time for me. This particular store was open 24 hours, so I was checking to see if there were any customers needing my help before I left that evening.
I was just about to the end of the aisle when a young man (maybe early 20s) rounded the corner about 3 feet in front of me. He looked behind him and said, “She’s here!” Startled, I looked behind me to see who was there. Since there was no one but myself, I jokingly said something like, “Wow, what a greeting” and then asked if I could help him. By this time, his wife, or could have been his girlfriend, rounded the same corner and joined him. It was clear that they were very happy that I was the one waiting on them.
I would like to explain why I was so surprised at their reaction to my being there. The customer service I give to people is something I have been doing for so long that it is second nature to me. I have fine-tuned it over the years and tend to forget that not everyone treats customers the way I do. The fine tuning comes from learning how and then choosing to apply simple things like the phrases at the beginning of this post.
After the couple explained what they were looking for and we were walking to the correct aisle, they told me how every time they come into this department, they are hoping I am here. The gentleman went as far as to also add that he is always amazed that I am in a great mood. He asked, “Don’t you ever have a bad day?” I smiled and said, “Sure, I actually am having one today.” He asked how I could still be so nice if my day was going so badly. I, in turn, asked him, “If I greeted you with something like ‘Yeah what do you want?’, would you want to come back to this department?” His reply was, ”No, not likely.” I continued, “Well then, since my job depends on customers coming in and buying, I guess treating them like they are a bother to me would result in eventually having no customers. And without customers I wouldn’t have a job would I? So, I choose to treat everyone with respect and kindness. And, if we look at this realistically, you are not the reason I was having a bad day. Why on earth should I take it out on you? Bottom line to help me reinforce all that I believe in is simply this, you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.