Was there ever a time in your life when it felt like you might have been sleeping for years, or maybe just been on another planet? Strange question right?
Well, that is what it seemed like to me a year or so ago. That big box store I mentioned in a few of my other posts was where this strange feeling happened. As I have also said numerous times, I have been in customer service in one way or another all of my adult life. That adds up to many years. There is not much I haven’t seen…or so I thought.
One particular day, a woman came in with her children and wanted to buy a set of earbuds for one of her daughters. I brought her over to the case that the store kept them in. I don’t think she expected there to be so many to choose from and the price range involved was quite large.
She asked her daughter which ones she wanted and the daughter also, was having a hard time with the many choices. So they turned to me for help. I started to explain that some were just plain old earbuds, ($1.99 to $4.99). Then after that decisions of preference would have to be made. Such as; do you want them where you have to plug them into the device you are using? Or do you want them as Wi-Fi, where you will need to charge them first? That brings in another decision; how long will you need them to keep a charge before you are where you can plug them in? Then there were ones that were resistant to water or perspiration…those are great for the exercise-minded person. The choices went on and on. The prices were now also beginning to climb. It was clear seeing the price range now was climbing out of control for the mom. $7.50 to over $250.00! The daughter didn’t seem to notice the worry in her mother’s voice.
When answering questions customers ask, I always try to look back and forth between the product and the customer. That was how I could see the ‘atmosphere’ start to change. It was totally clear that the mom wanted to do something nice for her daughter, and she wanted to make sure that the earbuds, were a good pair. She turned to me for help. I asked her daughter what were the most important things that she wanted out of her listening experience. Her answer was to ask me a couple of questions about the Wi-Fi choices. Some of the earbuds offered the same features but there was about a $30.00 difference in price. When I looked at the two she was looking at. I saw the first pair was $12.99 and the second one was $39.99. The only difference between the two was the number of hours they kept a charge. Of course, the daughter (who I learned was 12 years old), wanted the most expensive pair. As I looked at the mother for her approval, I could see she was not comfortable with the choice. As diplomatically as she could, she asked her daughter if she could take the ones for $12.99 for now and then get the other ones at a later date when money wasn’t so tight.
I almost fell over when the daughter said no, that she wanted the other pair. The mom tried again. At this moment, I was about to excuse myself from the conversation and have them let me know when they were ready when I thought of an idea that the daughter might agree with. I asked her if by chance she usually listened to her music with earbuds, in her bedroom. Thankfully her answer was yes. I suggested that what she could do until her mom could get the other pair, was since I was sure she must have outlets in her room, she could still wear them while they were charging. I could see the mom thought that was a very fair compromise. The daughter? Nope. She wanted the expensive pair and was not going to budge. Now I did excuse myself and walked away. I was at the register checking out a customer when they came up and said they were ready. I went back to the case to unlock it, fully expecting that the mother was going to tell me the inexpensive pair was the choice when she sighed and said she was getting her the more expensive ones. Normally, it wouldn’t have phased me in the least. But the mother had just told her daughter that she was broke that week and really couldn’t afford the higher-priced ones.
The mother even looked sheepish when she said to me: “I know I shouldn’t be doing this.” I just shrugged my shoulders and smiled. As I was checking her out, I had a hard time not saying anything about this. The daughter had such a smug selfish smirk on her face. As I was handing the mother her change, the following words, just popped out of my mouth…”You know how when you and I were teenagers, our parents would tell us to just say no (to drugs)?” She smiled and nodded. I continued: “Well I think it is now time for the parents to learn that sometimes ‘they just have to say no’ (to their kids)!”
I tried to keep it amusing and light-hearted for that mom. And I think I succeeded, or at least she was being kind. She thanked me for my help, and she was sincere about it.
I found that as the weeks went by, I couldn’t get that sale out of my mind. I found that there were a lot of parents out there that were bending over backward to get their children’s approval. When did raising children become like this? That’s where the feeling of being asleep for years, or just plain being on a different planet came from! I remember my childhood, and I remember raising my son. In both generations, respect and consideration for others were principles that were taught throughout our childhood years.
There was a question I wanted to ask the mom…but it was not a question that should be asked in front of their children. The question was simply this: “If horrifyingly you died today, would your children be able to take care of themselves?” Now of course this does not apply to children who are not old enough to go out and get a job, and most of the time when I have asked a parent this question, their children were well into their 20’s. After asking the question, I usually follow with this statement: ”If they can’t take care of themselves, then what you are doing by not setting boundaries and giving them no responsibilities is setting them up to fail in life.”
Most people who hear that do not like me for telling them, and to tell you the truth, I’m okay with that. All I want to do is plant the seed in their heads that they need to instill into their children, principles, morals, and values. If they don’t know how…then GO LEARN! The first step is to learn that it all starts with a simple “No”. The next step gets a little harder… knowing is only half the battle. Now it’s time to implement what you learned and practice it.