I wondered what to write today when I remembered this following memory.
In the year 1987, Dirty Dancing was released in movie theatres. In 1988 the movie was available in VHS video for home viewing. I rented the VHS and was totally enthralled with the movie! I couldn’t watch it enough! I lost count of how many times I rented that video.
A few months later, a girlfriend of mine who lived next door was over for our morning tea when she told me that she heard the Dirty Dancing performers would be in our state performing many of the same dance routines in the movie! The town they were acting in was about an hour away. The performance was about two months away. Excitedly we made plans to go. The tickets were $25.00 apiece. In 1988, that was a bit pricey. But this was Dirty Dancing! My girlfriend and I were going no matter what!
Later that day, after work, another one of my friends who lived up the street from me was visiting. She had come to drop her daughter off before going to work. She worked the 2nd shift, and I worked the 1st shift. We worked at different places, but we would trade off on sitting for each other. She had a daughter about 4 years younger than my son.
I was so excited to tell her about the Dirty Dancing crew coming to our state in a couple of months. She asked if she could come with the two of us. I told her no problem. I told her how much the tickets were, and she was okay with that.
The next time our schedules coincided so that I could watch her daughter, we were at my kitchen table when she said I was going to be very mad at her. I couldn’t think of any reason I would have to be angry with her. We were best of friends and had so many things in common. Then she told me about telling the girl she carpooled with all about the Dirty Dancing night. The girl in question was not well-liked. She tended to bully people and control events without being invited. I avoided her as much as possible.
I guess the look on my face confirmed that I was already anticipating inappropriate information. My girlfriend said, “She never even asked if she could go with us. She just asked when it was and what time should she be ready to go?” I laughed and told her that I had no problem correcting her assumption of going with us. My girlfriend declined the offer and said she would say the car was already full, and there were no seats available.
A few days later, my girlfriend asked me as a favor to let this girl go with us. I told her that she was definitely taxing our relationship. I said it in humor, but she totally understood it was killing me to be gracious. I did tell her that the car was full, but I had no problem meeting her there, and yeah, it was no big deal if she wanted to sit with us. I didn’t know it at the time, but I would kick myself for that last line.
I told my morning tea girlfriend what was going on, and she agreed that letting the other girl sit with us wouldn’t kill us.
About this time, my babysitting girlfriend told me that her sister-in-law wanted to come along as well. I was happy to have her join us. I had got to know her when I would be dropping my son off at my girlfriend’s house. She also was at many of the get-togethers we would have that always turned into last-minute parties.
The dance performance was about 3 weeks away when it was time to buy the tickets. Again the uninvited girl talks my friend into letting her purchase the tickets to ensure that we all sit together. She also was the only one of us who had a credit card and could buy them ahead of time. (Yes, this really was when the dinosaurs roamed the earth. Lol!)I was trying my best to just keep silent. One of the ways that helped me keep my silence was I knew that as soon as this girl physically had the tickets, I was buying mine and my morning tea, friend’s tickets from this girl. Something kept telling me to not trust her.
The dance performance was a week away when I received a visit from my babysitting girlfriend’s sister-in-law. I offered her some coffee or tea. She sat down and began to tell me the reason for her visit. She was politely declining to go to the dance performance. Surprised by her reason for the visit, I asked why? She started to cry and told me that the girl who bought the tickets worked at the same place as she did. As a matter of fact, her brother, sister-in-law (my babysitting girlfriend), and this other girl all worked at the same company. Her sister-in-law and the ticket buying girl worked the second shift while she and her brother worked the first shift.
This particular day, as her sister-in-law and this other girl arrived at work, they passed each other. My friend sitting across from me tells me that she said hi to the two women and started talking excitedly about going to the dance performance. When the girl who insisted on buying the tickets yells out at her, in front of all the people standing around that she is not welcome and cannot come. My friend sitting at my table then tells me the girl yells as loudly as she can that they are her tickets, and since she bought them, she will decide who goes.
By this time, my friend is crying. She also added that she broke down crying at work in front of all her co-workers. She could see I was just about spitting bullets; I was so angry at this other girl. I think I mumbled something like: “Really? Well, we will see about this!” I assured my friend that she was going. We chatted for a bit, and then my friend left.
I could not believe the audacity of this person that had basically barged her way into a function no one wanted her at. And why hadn’t she said anything to this obnoxious person when she attacked her sister–in–law? All because my babysitting girlfriend did not know how to say no thank you.
When I saw her the following afternoon, I asked her about her sister-in-law. I already knew the answer, so I was not surprised when my girlfriend told me she was afraid of making her angry and not getting a ride home from work.
I told my friend that I wanted to buy my three tickets from her and let her know I would have the money the next day could she please bring the tickets with her? My friend agreed.
The following morning, when my morning tea friend arrived, I told her everything that had taken place. She was with me on getting those tickets as fast as we could. We both could see the drama and wanted no part in it. That afternoon when my babysitting girlfriend came by, I couldn’t believe what she had to say. She told me that when she asked the girl who bought the tickets to have them today, the girl said no, she would keep them until the night of the dance performance.
That was it! I had enough. My girlfriend couldn’t even look me in the eye, knowing that I never wanted this girl as part of our group. She couldn’t apologize enough. I calmly told her not to worry; what’s done is done.
After she was gone, I called her sister-in-law and told her what I was planning. She was okay with it. I then called my morning tea friend, and she also was fine.
I do not like bullies. I never have, and I never will. Still, in my early twenty’s, I wasn’t very good at controlling my outbursts when I would get angry about something. But this time was much different. This time I was out to teach a bully a lesson.
The day before the dance performance, my babysitting girlfriend came by. We both knew that I was working the next day and would not see each other until we were on our way to the performance. She was still very sorry about all of this. Knowing I did not really blame her if only because she had a hard time standing up to bullies, I told her what I was planning to do and swore her to secrecy. I told her that this other person totally deserved what she was about to get. My friend promised not to say a word. But it was plain the only reason she could promise not to say anything was because she was petrified of this girl’s anger.
The day of the dance performance was upon us. I was to get out of work early that day so that all of us could meet at this girl’s house. The only person who would be at that person’s house was the owner, the girl who bought the tickets.
I worked my regular hours that day. When I got home the phone was ringing. Even though caller ID was not yet around, I knew who was calling. I answered the phone. Sure enough, it was the girl who bought the tickets. She asked: “Annmarie, where are you?” I kind of chuckled and told her since she just called my house, I must be home. She asked me why I wasn’t at her house. I told her I wasn’t quite sure what she was talking about. Why would I need to be at her home? I think she seriously thought I didn’t know why she was asking. She said with exasperation that we would all be late for the dance performance. I told her I honestly didn’t know what she meant. I told her that no one who had planned to go had tickets, so we decided not to go. She almost yelled into the phone that she had the tickets. I said no, you have YOUR tickets. We all hope you have a real nice time. Then I hung up.
That month and a half of bullying her way into our group and taking control just cost that girl $125.00. I sometimes wonder if she thought it was worth it.